Ah, it’s that time of year again. You know, when we all come together to watch a match-up of two teams most of us couldn’t care less about, and all of the meats, cheeses, sauces, beers and others from your trainer’s “no” list magically appear on your coffee table. 

If you were hoping to appear functional, or, at least, semi-functional come Monday, then fear not. Per usual, cauliflower has rained down little beige sprouts to save us all.

Behold: Cauliflower Bufflourets. A vegan, delicious, vegetable-based alternative to whatever poultry you were planning on consuming during the inevitable eight-hour couch marathon this Sunday.  Recipe below.

The Ingredients

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• Three cups of cauliflower florets. I saved myself some time and purchased two bags of the cauliflower florets available in the produce aisle. They’re typically stored around the salad mix and baby carrots.
• 1/4 cup soy or coconut milk. I used SO Delicious plain coconut milk.
• 1/2 cup of water.
• 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour. Can be subbed for grain-free rice flour if that’s what you’re into!
• 1 1/2 tsp of garlic powder.
• Two pinches of cumin.
• Two pinches of paprika.
• One pinch of salt and one pinch of ground black pepper.
• 3/4 cup of Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wings Sauce.
• 1 tbsp of butter or butter substitute. I used Earth Balance Olive Oil Buttery Spread.
• Parchment paper and PAM cooking spray.

The Moves

Preheat oven to 435 degrees and break up cauliflower into florets if needed.

Mix spices, flour, milk, and water together to create the batter. It should be a liquid consistency when finished, yet thick enough so that it doesn’t drip once the florets are dipped in.

Dip florets individually into batter and place on a cookie tray that’s lined with parchment paper and sprayed thoroughly with cooking oil, and place in oven for twenty minutes.

While the florets are cooking, microwave a tablespoon of your butter or butter substitute and add it to 3/4 cup of hot sauce in a mixing bowl.

After twenty minutes, remove the florets and dip each into the sauce mixing bowl, ensuring each is completely covered.

After placing them back onto the cooking tray, bake again for another twenty minutes (or until they’ve reached your desired level of crispiness.)

Drizzle with more hot sauce and serve immediately with ranch, Bleu cheese, or a vegan substitute like this!

Chef (#lol) Notes

Don’t stress too much about the proportions of the batter, and you can choose how “breaded” you’d like your florets.

Use a big cooking tray. The florets actually take up a lot more room than I was expecting!

It’s randomly so hard to find hot sauce in a grocery store (?!) My advice, skip the drama and have the ingredients delivered to your door with an AmazonFresh Free Trial — unlimited delivery throughout your first month, and only $14.99 from there!

Need more #sports in your life? Click here to check out VTNF’s big game cheat sheet, and win.