Iiiiiit’s back! Shop my picks from the Nordstrom 2018 Winter Sale, below! 

Dresses + Tops

1 // 2 (featured here!) // 3 // 4 (reversible!) // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14

Bottoms, Accessories + Shoes

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15

Shop 50% off Topshop Leather Jacket finds here, here, and here.

Beet chips: aesthetically pleasing, uniquely delicious, and absurdly expensive to buy pre-made. You all know I love a good splurge, but beet chips ain’t the place to be splurgin’, fam — especially when you can buy a week’s worth of beets for under $5! These chips actually turned out to work a little better as crackers to use with Brie, guac, peanut butter, or whatever else your little dippin’ heart desires. Find the recipe below, and enjoy!

What You’ll Need

• A cutting board that you’re cool with possibly dyeing pink
• A knife or mandolin
• Baking sheet

Don’t forget! Get everything you need delivered directly to your door by starting an  AmazonFresh Free Trial! Click the link to get your first month free. 

Ingredients

• One cluster of golden beets and one cluster of red beets (I found them both by the carrots and cauliflower in the refrigerated portion of the produce section at Whole Foods.)
• Olive oil
• Salt
• Rosemary (optional)
• Creme fraiche
• Honey
• Cinnamon sugar

The Playbook

• Rinse and scrub the beets.
• Remove and leaf and root, then cut the beets into thin slices. Most vegetable chip recipes casually suggest you use a mandolin to slice vegetables. I’m not sure what kind of next-level adults keep a mandolin on hand, but it seems like something you would only voluntarily purchase after age 50. Get a head start and order yours here, or, on the off chance you forgot to budget for a mandolin this month, a sharp knife will work just as well. (Peasant!!!!)

• Optional: put the beet slices in a mason jar with olive oil, salt, and whatever other flavors you’d like — Minimalist Chef suggests rosemary! –and leave them in the fridge overnight.
•  Put beet slices in a bowl — or, keep them in the overnight jars! — and toss them with olive oil, salt, and optional herb when you’re ready to bake. Then, arrange them on a lightly sprayed sheet. Take care to ensure the slices aren’t overlapping.

• Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until they’ve reached your ~desired crispiness.~ FYI: they go from crispy to burned FAST, so keep an eye on them after the 20-minute mark.

The spread

If you’re poor like me and had to use a knife instead of a mandolin, it’s likely your chips will come out a bit thicker than a typical chip. Fear not, however, because beet chips also moonlight as beet crackers, too.

Creme Fraiche works as a great base spread for the beets sweet-and-salty taste and tougher texture. Funny story: I asked approximately ten grocery store employees to help me find the bichon frise, which is actually a type of dog — turns out my brain can only handle one item of two-word French at a time. Needless to say, the mixup caused quite a bit of confusion as most grocery stores do not carry show dogs, and served as further proof that I am still not Whole Foods material.

My mom used a few drops of horseradish with the Creme Fraiche to play up the savory factor, and I opted to go with a sweeter taste.

To make my version, combine 1/4 cup of Creme Fraiche, a tablespoon of honey, and cinnamon-sugar to taste. Spread on beet chips, and enjoy!

Don’t forget! Get everything you need delivered directly to your door by starting an  AmazonFresh Free Trial! Click the link to get your first month free. 

We all know Halloween comes with its fair share of frights. December celebrations bring us surprises of the material variety, and Thanksgiving gets its edge from the ongoing debate surrounding cranberry sauce and, more specifically, whether it deserves a metaphorical or literal seat at the table. 

Surprises aren’t surprising when it comes to holidays, however, February 14th comes with its own set of more peculiar curiosities. Old flames burn their way out of the woodwork. New relationships suddenly become awkward Google searches to the tune of “V-day present if you’ve only been official for two weeks?” Despite the media’s recent efforts to bill it as a simple “Hallmark holiday,” Valentine’s Day does have a way of reigniting otherwise dormant emotions in even the most passive of hearts.

Unfortunately, I can’t predict what this Wednesday will hold for you, but I can prepare you aesthetically for whatever it has waiting — even if it’s a Postmate delivery driver named Manuel skidding his Huffy into your building’s lobby. 

I hope you enjoy the selection, and all items listed have been linked below, too! 

Sweater // Moto Pants // Pumps // Bag // Top Earrings // Bottom Earrings

Shirt // Pants // Heel Option #1 // Heel Option #2 // Coat

Joggers // Sweater // Sneakers // Pizza Cutter // Earrings

Pajama Set // Headband // Eye Masks // Bed Tray // Candle // Girls’ Night In Newsletter

I have wide German feet to match my wide German shoulders. This gave me a smug satisfaction as a child in ballet and, later, an adult in hot yoga, as my lower extremities allowed me to hold Natarajasana without a flinch — even as my more narrowed-footed classmates toppled around me. (It’s the little things, fam.)

That said, superior yoga abilities are literally the only benefit that accompanies having wide feet. Apart from repulsing men, online shoe shopping has always been a challenge, and I’m often left wondering what kind of miniature geisha some brands are using as their muse while I trudge to UPS to drop off yet another return package.

All this to say, shoe shopping on Amazon seemed very much out of the question. A (ridiculously versatile, universally flattering) shirt is one thing, but buying booties from an international marketplace is a dice roll even I wasn’t sure about.

Luckily for me (and now, you!), my Amazon shoe shopping journey has enjoyed yet another happy ending. I had such a hard time finding a replacement for the Zara booties I’d been stretching out for a third consecutive winter — olive color, dark brown heel — and knew I had to give these a shot. I’ve been living in them ever since! Apart from olive green, they’re also available in black, tan, and a gorgeous taupe color, and seem to be stocked up in most sizes. Plus, they’re eligible for Prime shipping and less than $30! 

So, what are you waiting for? Shop these less than $30 booties on Amazon Prime. I’ve also linked similar finds from the outfit below. Enjoy!

Sweater (similar) // Wrap (similar) // Jeans // Sunnies // Booties 

P.S. While you’re on the ‘zon, why not pick up my favorite shirt, too? Still on Amazon for less than $15 — I’m wearing a size ‘US 4’!

Ah, it’s that time of year again. You know, when we all come together to watch a match-up of two teams most of us couldn’t care less about, and all of the meats, cheeses, sauces, beers and others from your trainer’s “no” list magically appear on your coffee table. 

If you were hoping to appear functional, or, at least, semi-functional come Monday, then fear not. Per usual, cauliflower has rained down little beige sprouts to save us all.

Behold: Cauliflower Bufflourets. A vegan, delicious, vegetable-based alternative to whatever poultry you were planning on consuming during the inevitable eight-hour couch marathon this Sunday.  Recipe below.

The Ingredients

Remember: click the link to order the ingredient, and don’t forget to start your AmazonFresh Free Trial to have all of your groceries delivered directly to your door.

• Three cups of cauliflower florets. I saved myself some time and purchased two bags of the cauliflower florets available in the produce aisle. They’re typically stored around the salad mix and baby carrots.
• 1/4 cup soy or coconut milk. I used SO Delicious plain coconut milk.
• 1/2 cup of water.
• 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour. Can be subbed for grain-free rice flour if that’s what you’re into!
• 1 1/2 tsp of garlic powder.
• Two pinches of cumin.
• Two pinches of paprika.
• One pinch of salt and one pinch of ground black pepper.
• 3/4 cup of Frank’s Red Hot Buffalo Wings Sauce.
• 1 tbsp of butter or butter substitute. I used Earth Balance Olive Oil Buttery Spread.
• Parchment paper and PAM cooking spray.

The Moves

Preheat oven to 435 degrees and break up cauliflower into florets if needed.

Mix spices, flour, milk, and water together to create the batter. It should be a liquid consistency when finished, yet thick enough so that it doesn’t drip once the florets are dipped in.

Dip florets individually into batter and place on a cookie tray that’s lined with parchment paper and sprayed thoroughly with cooking oil, and place in oven for twenty minutes.

While the florets are cooking, microwave a tablespoon of your butter or butter substitute and add it to 3/4 cup of hot sauce in a mixing bowl.

After twenty minutes, remove the florets and dip each into the sauce mixing bowl, ensuring each is completely covered.

After placing them back onto the cooking tray, bake again for another twenty minutes (or until they’ve reached your desired level of crispiness.)

Drizzle with more hot sauce and serve immediately with ranch, Bleu cheese, or a vegan substitute like this!

Chef (#lol) Notes

Don’t stress too much about the proportions of the batter, and you can choose how “breaded” you’d like your florets.

Use a big cooking tray. The florets actually take up a lot more room than I was expecting!

It’s randomly so hard to find hot sauce in a grocery store (?!) My advice, skip the drama and have the ingredients delivered to your door with an AmazonFresh Free Trial — unlimited delivery throughout your first month, and only $14.99 from there!

Need more #sports in your life? Click here to check out VTNF’s big game cheat sheet, and win. 

Sports, for People Who Kind of Hate Sports is a guide intended to provide the sports inept with talking points for interactions with professional superiors, chatty Uber drivers, significant other’s male relatives and other sports-minded cohorts, compiled, in part, my VTNF’s anonymous panel of male experts.

The Playbook

Gronk will (probably) play. Some are wondering if Big G will make it onto the field after suffering a concussion two weeks ago, but it appears he is, in fact, en route to Minnesota (and looking noticeably less like a frat star who graduated five years ago but is still coming back for the parties.) Fun fact: Gronk, wide receiver Bradin Cooks and running back Dion Lewis became the first trio to ever accumulate 1,000 yards in one season, on the same team. I’m not 100% sure why that matters, BUT IT DOES.

Expect some awkward ex encounters. This ain’t Chris Long and LeGarette Blount’s first Superbowl rodeo, and the two actually played for the Patriots last year when they nabbed their historic five-game win. Hoping for some passive-aggressive Instagram posts and shady side-eye. I have a feeling I will be left thoroughly disappointed.

Eagles’ QB Nick Foles may have the opposite of performance anxiety, whatever that is. As Carson Wentz takes on Tiny Tim like stature in the hearts and minds of Eagles fan, Foles has been gaining momentum, providing the Eagles with a powerhouse performance that ultimately helped them take the NFC. If the Foles’ wait-until-it-really-really-matters approach continues, Brady may have to kick it (or throw it?) into overdrive on Sunday.

That said, if it comes down to kicking, don’t put your money on the birds. Gostkowski trumps Eagles’ kicker Elliot (almost) across the board. As they say; flying is fun, but kicking wins games.

No one is rooting for New England, except New England (and North Dakota?) You can get a visual of what that looks like here. Oh, and this long-read about how the Pats will hasten the demise of the NFL is an interesting read, as well. 

There’s going to be a lot of Instagramming in the Patriots’ suite. Gisele Bundchen. Olivia Culpo. Camille Kostek. No, this isn’t a list of your recent likes, it’s actually the roster of Pats girlfriends. Here’s hoping they can take photos of each other while their Instagram husbands are busy working their part-time jobs. 

Sports Terms of the Week

Hail Mary (n or adj): A Hail Mary pass also known as a Shot Play is a very long forward pass in American football, made in desperation with only a small chance of success. The term became widespread after a 1975 NFL playoff game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Minnesota Vikings, when Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach (a Roman Catholic and Godfather Part 2 fan) said about his game-winning touchdown pass to wide receiver Drew Pearson, “I closed my eyes and said a Hail Mary.” Not to be confused with Bloody Mary, of course, which is what I plan to drink in order to survive the day. Order my favorite mix on Amazon Prime here, and don’t forget the Bleu cheese olives and Old Bay! 

Offensive tight-end (n): The tight end (TE) The tight end is often seen as a hybrid position with the characteristics and roles of both an offensive lineman and a wide receiver. Like offensive linemen, they are usually lined up on the offensive line and are large enough to be effective blockers. On the other hand, they are eligible receivers adept enough to warrant a defense’s attention when running pass patterns.

Rob Gronkowski is both Tom Brady’s tight end and Tom Brady’s tight end.

Snackandering, (v):  when the newly anointed girlfriend of sports fan employs the use of a delicious, homemade snack to win favor among new significant other’s group of friends at weekly basement viewing party.

Rob: “Even though she sat in another room and did not interact with us whatsoever, Kyle’s new girlfriend seems pretty cool.”

Chad: “I don’t even remember her name, but I’m pretty sure he’s found the one. That’s the best seven-layer dip I’ve had in, like, at least a few years.”

Brandon: “Yup, dip was dope. If she’s snackandering us, I’m cool with it.”

Who We’ll Be Watching

JT, who appears to be our only saving grace during Sunday’s four hours of “fun.” If you’re having flashbacks to 2004, you’re not alone. Luckily, Will Smith provided him a helpful reminder regarding proper performance protocol via Instagram. Thank God!

The Looks

Regardless of whether you’ll be suffering through another ‘Bowl with your Patriots fanatic boyfriend, or trying to impress an Eagles fan at the house party, we’ve got your look covered. As always, click the link to shop!

Let’s Go Eagles.

Shop it: Coat, $75 // Sweater, $45 // Clutch, $85 // Booties, $80 // Blank Denim Jeans, $98

Let’s Go Patriots.

Shop it: Earrings, $18 // Booties, $97 // Tee, $120 //  Jeans, $138 // Cuff, $245

P.S. Need something to eat, too? These vegan “chicken” wings and roasted Brussels sprouts with honey-harissa dip are both great places to start. Don’t forget, you can have all of your groceries delivered for FREE when you start your AmazonFresh Free Trial!

I would say I moonlight as a vegan, but I more-so daylight as a vegan.

Like most people who use up most of their willpower to get out of bed in the morning, I tend to be more conscientious about my food choices and meal selection throughout traditional waking hours. 

That said,  when the full moon rises, all bets are off. In fact, my habit of ordering buffalo wings in the wee hours became so notorious during my time living behind Pizza Mamba in Ocean City that I enjoyed text-to-order status with their closing manager for the better part of 2013. Reach for the stars, kids.

So, no; I’m not in the vegan club. I probably never will be. I’ve never felt particularly good after consuming animal products and I do my best to avoid eating them, however, vegans are one tribe that don’t appreciate a gray area.

Here is another thing I know to be true: lunch is a day maker or a dealbreaker. While many of us harbor complicated and varied relationships with breakfast, mid-day meals are more mainstream, and often come with a plethora of very healthy and very unhealthy options. For me, lunch usually comes in two forms: a twenty-minute dash to select something I can order, pick-up and attempt to consume before the next conference call, or, a choice made during a weekend fog where I slept through all acceptable breakfast hours and am not mentally, physically, financially or spiritually equipped for brunch. I hope that my suggestions below will help you eat a little cleaner at the places you’re already visiting — it’s a lot easier to adjust current habits than initiate new ones entirely.

Make Anything Vegan: My Top Three Tips

• Find the hidden cow. Unfortunately, cow products are a lot harder to find than actual cows, and asking for “no cheese” doesn’t always cut it. Pay close attention to sauces and dressings, and ask for them on the side when possible.
• Order online whenever possible. Is there anything more stressful than a long line, teenage cashier and complicated order? Instead, order everything exactly how you’d like it using the restaurant’s app or online ordering system. Plus, you’ll likely be automatically entered to begin receiving loyalty rewards and endless emails about God only knows after your first order. Who writes those emails, anyway?! 🤔
• Think about adding volume. This is an easy one: double up on greens! They fill you up and absorb the flavor of whatever you’re eating, with no caloric cost. 

Cava Grill

What to order: Start with Supergreens, then add Cava’s winter veggie medley, harissa, roasted red pepper hummus, kalamata olives, banana peppers, Lemon Herb Tahini Dressing, and a lemon. Pita optional, though their fried pita chips are highly endorsed by VTNF.

Chop’t

What to order: I start by asking for a Mexican Caesar. From there, I swap the chicken for avocado, and cheese for corn. Request Mexican Goddess dressing, salt and pepper when it comes time for mixing, and transfer to a bowl that compliments your bedspread for maximum enjoyment.

Five Guys

What to order: the Veggie Sandwich. Top with hot sauce if you’re feeling adventurous, or fries if you’re feeling hungover. Fun fact: Five Guys cooks everything in peanut oil, so this is actually super vegan!

Beefsteak

What to order: The Kimchi-Wa, without yogurt and with an avocado half. Beware that the greek yogurt is added to the base, so you’ll need to request they hold it from the get-go. I really, really love this place, and if you’re not familiar with the work Jose Andres is doing in Puerto Rico, I seriously recommend reading up — it’s awesome, inspiring and could change the role corporations currently play in disaster relief.

Whole Foods

What to order: avocado spring roll sushi with mochi dessert. Spoiler alert: the best part is the dairy-free, coconut-based mochi, however, I really do love the peanut dipping sauce and liberal avocado portions included with the sushi!

Bonus Roud! Chipotle

What to order: Sofritas burrito. Ask for white rice, fajita veggies, Sofritas, mild and medium salsa, corn, guacamole, and extra lettuce if you’re a total freak like me. Top off with Diet Coke.

🙌🍔🙌 Ready to order? Head over to Postmates and use code 1DLU4 for a $100 delivery credit. (First timers, only 😉)

Want more? Read what got me going dairy-free in the first place here. 

Winter skin, #AmIRight? I choose my least-favorite season as a time to overhaul and experiment with my current skin-care regimen. Find the winners below, along with hacks to help make them extra effective.

Juice Beauty Antioxidant Serum, $48

Murad Pure Skin Clarifying Supplements, $50

The product: zinc, horsetail and vitamin A team up to deliver healing and re-balancing from the inside out, keeping you covered should you forget to use one of the ten moisturizers required to keep your skin from cracking into pieces during a bomb cyclone, polar vortex, or whatever else this winter has up its puffer vest. 
The hack: the thing about supplements is you actually have to take them. These fruit-shaped pill organizers will make pill-taking Flinstone’s gummy-level fun, and they’re so easy to throw in a tote — plus, only $10 from Amazon!

Mario Badescu Hydrating Spray, $12

The product: This hydrating face and body spray contains all of the good things, including aloe, cucumber, and green tea extracts.
The hack: I actually spray this on my back and arms, and it really helps my skin from becoming dry and itchy throughout the day. I prefer to use Mario’s rosewater spray on my face — you can purchase a pack of both sprays here.

The Ordinary Niacinamide + Zinc Formula, $15

The product: This non-greasy serum is perfect for the acne prone or oil shy. 
The hack: it also includes the same exact active ingredients as Glossier’s Super Pure, for $13 less. BOOM.

Lollia Pastille Sugar Hand Cream, $24

The product: This thick, high-quality cream provides glorious-smelling hydration sans the butterfingers, white residue, or too-strong scent.  THANKS, DRURY! 
The hack: keep it next to your toothbrush so you remember to use it right after the shower and/or right before bed.

Evening Primrose Oil Capsules, $14

The product: This is one of the only natural supplements on the market that’s recommended to target hormonal imbalance and the acne that accompanies it!
The hack: On those too-cold-to-function days when your skin feels uncomfortably dry, puncture a capsule and spread the oil around the perimeter of your face, then dab it on dry areas in the middle, too — just be sure not to overload your t-zone. These supplements are also known to help lessen the effects of PMS, too! 

Mario Badescu Herbal Hydrating Serum, $30

The product: ignore the anti-freeze color and pre-foaming shave cream consistency here, fam, because this stuff is (blue) liquid gold. I use it every day atop my normal moisturizer!
The hack: Between getting sick, getting lazy, and getting bowled over by wind gusts, there’s always perpetually dry, scaly patches of skin around my nose, which only becomes more noticeable once you throw some concealer on top. The solution? Pile this stuff on! It’s not shiny, heavy, or oily, and will create a smooth surface for everything from cover-up to contouring.

skyn ICELAND Glacial Cleansing Cloths, $15

The product: don’t let the ‘glacial’ part throw you off — these are my year-round go-to face wipes! I can also appreciate the v. relatable narrative on the front packaging, too.
The hack: there is nothing that requires more willpower than dragging yourself out of your warm and cozy bed — especially when you’ve entered into that weird, tipsy, half-asleep state after one-too-many mulled ciders — to wash your face. On nights when a sink interaction just isn’t going to happen, keep these in your bedstand drawer for an easy — and (almost) equitable — alternative.

I have a strict ten-ingredient max when it comes to cooking. I don’t have time to try to decipher between cilantro, coriander, and parsley in the middle of Whole Foods when there are organic peanuts to be ground into $120 peanut butter, and ain’t nobody got time for a two-trip grocery haul when you live on the 15th floor.

That said, I love Brussels sprouts and thus this recipe, by association. It’s an easy dish that packs enough flavor to run within the ranks of buff-chick dip and boneless wings, yet is actually vegan, plant-based, and a whopping seven ingredients. Use the recipe below to win this year’s big game potluck or snack table pile-up. 

Recipe: Honey Harissa + Sprouts

Ingredients 
 ◊  Brussels sprouts. I buy them by the bag at Trader Joe’s. Order them on Amazon here. 
 ◊  Cava harissa. Available at Whole Foods and MOM’s nationwide, along with other grocers throughout the DMV. Get the full list here.
◊  One lemon
◊  Unfiltered honey 
◊  Rock salt (preferably Himalayan), pepper and EVOO

Here’s an idea: try Amazon Fresh grocery delivery and check off your whole grocery list sans crowded produce section and crying children. Even better, your first 30 days are free — click here to get started!

The Moves 
1 | Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2 | Wash Brussels sprouts and cut them into halves. 
3 | In a bowl, mix halved sprouts with EVOO, salt, pepper, and lemon. 
4 | Cover cooking tray with EVOO or cooking spray. Add Brussels sprouts and drizzle with more EVOO. Once the oven has heated, bake for 40-45 minutes, flipping them over halfway through. 
5 | While the sprouts are cooking, combine a half cup of harissa and a tablespoon of honey in a serving bowl and mix until dip becomes a consistent texture. 
6 | Once sprouts are roasted — marked by being browned on the inside and tender throughout — finish them off with rock salt and add to serving plate. 
7 | Optional: mix a one-quarter cup of water with two tablespoons of honey and heat for a minute in the microwave, then drizzle, while hot, on top of sprouts before serving. Not recommended if looking to avoid sticky fingers! 

Total prep time: 15 minutes 
Total cook time: 40 minutes